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God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems

We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

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Domestic Violence, Part 8 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #76)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #76

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #76.

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Proverbs 20:3. It reads, “It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

This is designed to rectify men’s mistakes concerning strife. 1. Men think it is their wisdom to engage in quarrels; whereas it is the greatest folly that can be. He thinks himself a wise man that is quick in resenting affronts, that stands upon every nicety of honour and right, and will not abate an ace of either, that prescribes, and imposes, and gives law, to every body; but he that thus meddles is a fool, and creates a great deal of needless vexation to himself. 2. Men think, when they are engaged in quarrels, that it would be a shame to them to go back and let fall the weapon; whereas really it is an honour for a man to cease from strife, an honour to withdraw an action, to drop a controversy, to forgive an injury, and to be friends with those that we have fallen out with. It is the honour of a man, a wise man, a man of spirit, to show the command he has of himself by ceasing from strife, yielding, and stooping, and receding from his just demands, for peace-sake, as Abraham, the better man.

Our quote for today is from Paul Sadler. He said, “The goal of every married couple, indeed, every Christian home, should be to make Christ the Head, the Counselor and the Guide.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 8)
__________________________

HOW TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE from Letters to Young Black Women – Letter 30 (cont.)

DO NOT MARRY A MAN PRONE TO VIOLENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE (cont.)

5. Do not marry a man with a violent criminal background. It is true that change is possible for many people after they have gotten into trouble. But, you might want to reconsider marrying a man who has a record of violent criminal activity. Marrying a man of excitement is one thing, but marrying a convicted ax murderer is another.

6. Do not marry a man who hates everybody in your family, and who does not want you to have any contact with your family members. If you marry a man who is like this, he is setting you up so that you won’t have anyone to go to when he does something violent to you. Make sure that your family is okay with him and he is okay with your family before you marry him.

7. Do not marry a man who is aggressive with you before marriage. If he is violent toward you before you get married, he will definitely be that way once you are married and more so.

If you want to avoid this thing called domestic violence, please take heed to the aforementioned points and not marry that kind of man in the first place. The above statements only represent some of the signs that he will be that way. There are other signs. Before you get married, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit http://www.ndvh.org for more warning signs.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

How to Avoid Domestic Violence (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #75)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #75

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #75.

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Proverbs 17:14. It reads, “The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Here is, The danger that there is in the beginning of strife. One hot word, one peevish reflection, one angry demand, one spiteful contradiction, begets another, and that a third, and so on, till it proves like the cutting of a dam; when the water has got a little passage it does itself widen the breach, bears down all before it, and there is then no stopping it, no reducing it. A good caution inferred thence, to take heed of the first spark of contention and to put it out as soon as ever it appears. Dread the breaking of the ice, for, if once broken, it will break further; therefore leave it off, not only when you see the worst of it, for then it may be too late, but when you see the first of it. Obsta principiis—Resist its earliest display. Leave it off even before it be meddled with; leave it off, if it were possible, before you begin.

Our quote for today is from Jenifer Jernigan. She said, “Families are intended to be unified, kind, loving, godly, helpful, selfless, and a witness and reflect of God.”

__________________________

HOW TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE from Letters to Young Black Women – Letter 30

Dear Daughters & YBW: I trust that you are doing well today. I hope that you are growing in the Lord and living a victorious life.

Today, I want to write to you about domestic violence and how you can avoid it. Men are definitely at fault in most cases of domestic violence. As we learned in elementary school, boys should not hit girls—a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances. But contrary to popular belief, women are oftentimes at fault by provoking the man. Some women provoke a negative response from their husbands inadvertently, because they do not know how to deal with a man probably because they never had a father in the home to teach them or they never had a mother, older sister or older woman to teach them how to handle a man. However, some women intentionally provoke their husbands by pushing buttons that they know will cause a negative reaction.

Dear sister, never think that domestic violence is a normal way of life, and it should not occur in any relationship, especially in a Christian family relationship. Here are some things that you can do, as a young woman, to make sure that you do not end up in a relationship like this. I am going to deal with this issue from two standpoints: (1) Do not marry a man who is prone to violence in the first place, and (2) If God blesses you with a good man, here are some things you should do, and should not do, so as not to provoke him to negative behaviour. So, please listen carefully and take heed to the following:

DO NOT MARRY A MAN PRONE TO VIOLENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE
1. Do not marry a man who does not have a decent, loving relationship with his own mother. It has been said that the way a man treats and responds to his mother, is the way he will treat and respond to his wife. On the other hand, do not marry a man who is too close to his mother, because that can be another problem. He may become abusive because he’s a mama’s boy and he will try to defend his mother in many instances.

2. Do not marry a man who is a dawg. As I said before a dawg is heartless and oftentimes he does not even have the capacity to treat you the way that you should be treated. No matter what you do for a dawggish man it won’t be enough, and he will not care anything about you. He will use you for sex and for his own gratification and then leave you.

3. Do not marry a man who lets you have your way all of the time. If a man lets you have your way all of the time while you are dating, then once you get into that marriage, the man will try to be nice about the things that he really does not like, but on the inside the anger and frustration builds. Then, he gets to a point where he explodes, and violence breaks out. Please understand that minor disagreements and differences of opinion are normal between a man and a woman. Don’t be surprised if you have disagreements and differences. That is healthy because it gives him and you a way to vent and share things that you don’t like.

4. Do not marry a man who does not have a life before you. In other words, if a man’s life starts the day he meets you or the day he marries you, then you are already on the fast track to trouble, because he is not living for something bigger than the two of you, and therefore, he does not have a cause to live for to take up some of his time besides you. You may think you want to be the center of a man’s attention, but you really don’t want that. Deep down, you really want a man who has God at the center of his attention and who is going somewhere.
———-
5. Do not marry a man with a violent criminal background. It is true that change is possible for many people after they have gotten into trouble. But, you might want to reconsider marrying a man who has a record of violent criminal activity. Marrying a man of excitement is one thing, but marrying a convicted ax murderer is another.

6. Do not marry a man who hates everybody in your family, and who does not want you to have any contact with your family members. If you marry a man who is like this, he is setting you up so that you won’t have anyone to go to when he does something violent to you. Make sure that your family is okay with him and he is okay with your family before you marry him.

7. Do not marry a man who is aggressive with you before marriage. If he is violent toward you before you get married, he will definitely be that way once you are married and more so.

If you want to avoid this thing called domestic violence, please take heed to the aforementioned points and not marry that kind of man in the first place. The above statements only represent some of the signs that he will be that way. There are other signs. Before you get married, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit http://www.ndvh.org for more warning signs.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED TO KEEP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FROM EVER HAPPENING

Let me remind you that the young black men of today are not your grandfather or even your father. The young black men of today are simply not going to put up with any disrespect from their woman. It is true that a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances, period. However, some women can bring this type of harmful activity upon themselves by not applying the Word of God, wisdom, and common sense to the marital relationship. Below are some common sense things that you can do to avoid having anything close to domestic violence happening in your home, assuming that you married a God-fearing, decent man in the first place:

1. Do not lie to your husband about anything, past, present, or future. There is no sense in lying to the person that you are married to, or to anyone else for that matter, but especially to your own husband. Lying will destroy the foundation of your marriage faster than anything. So, be honest about everything.

2. Dear sister, if you have a problem with wandering eyes and you just can’t control yourself when a handsome man gets within eye-shot, then you might need to get some spiritual healing in that area before you get married. One thing you do not want to do in front of your husband or husband to be is look at other men. That is disrespectful to him and the Bible tells us that “jealousy is the rage of a man”. And please don’t do this passive-aggressive nonsense of being vindictive and trying to get back at your husband by making him jealous because you had a disagreement or something. Many women have gone to a premature grave for doing silly things like that. You shouldn’t do this at all, but if you just have to look at another man, have enough sense to do it when your husband is not around. I know this may sound petty to you, but the name of the game is don’t do anything to disrespect your husband.

3. May I encourage you not to disrespect your husband in front of your family or in front of your girlfriends, and definitely don’t disrespect him in front of his buddies. Depending on his makeup, he might be able to take a little bit of your mouthing off and showing out at home with just you and the children there, but he is not going to take your embarrassing him in front of other people. And for common sense sake, don’t go around telling your family and friends all of your business that goes on in your house because this is another point that may get his ire up and may cause him to go off on you.

4. This may sound like a no-brainer to you, but do not commit adultery in any way, shape, form or fashion. If you are ever tempted to commit adultery, run—don’t walk—away from it. This is a sure cause for domestic violence. Society has it backwards, but when you get married, you are to be married until “death do you part.” This means that no one or nothing should come between the two of you. Again, let me repeat, you may be married to the strong, silent type, but “jealousy is still the rage of a man”.

5. There are other ways that women show disrespect to their husbands that seem small to them, but are very irritating to men. Here are the big five: (1) talking back to him when he is trying to tell you something; (2) talking back while he is trying to tell you something (we all know women can think and talk faster than men); (3) rolling the eyes; (4) smirking; (5) cursing and calling your husband names. You don’t have to respond to everything that he does or says. Be a woman who respects and loves her husband despite his faults or failures, and be Christ-like in your response. The Bible, in fact, tells you in 1 Peter 3:4: “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” This is not about being a doormat. This is about being smart.

6. Please understand that the way God has wired you as a woman is that your satisfaction comes from satisfying your husband and your family. God did not give him to you just for him to please you. You are to please him as well. Make sure you do your part. The older women will tell you that it really doesn’t take much to please a man. If you don’t know how to please a man, you better ask somebody. But as a man, I can assure you that it doesn’t take much. If you have been married to your husband for just a little while, God will give you the ability and the instincts to know what your husband wants and needs. Don’t let the devil tempt you into thinking that you don’t know what your husband wants and needs. Do not fight these instincts, and do not act as though you don’t know what your husband wants and needs. You know! Don’t sit in your house and not meet your husband’s needs, and think that he is going to be all you need for him to be. Honey, this is a two-way street. Yes, God expects that man to be “all that” to you, but God also expects you to be “all that” to him.

7. Understand that men are very serious about their food. Food is not just a necessity to a man, it is an event. It is something that he looks forward to. So, don’t make an issue out of his food. Don’t burn his food. Make sure his food is prepared on time, whether you do the cooking or not. Make sure it is done in a sanitary fashion, meaning, for example, that you wash your hands before you touch his food. Most men are very funny about how people prepare their food. Dear sister, you can probably eat a little something and keep on moving, but a man cherishes a good meal and takes it seriously. You can avoid a lot of trouble in your marriage by making sure this area is taken care of.

8. If you have children, take care of your children. Do your part in raising, teaching, loving, and caring for them as their mother. There are some things that your husband will do with the children that you will not and cannot do. But he will appreciate it if you fulfill your part as their mother. Now let me emphasize something here, nothing will get a father and/or husband more upset than if he sees his children being neglected and/or mistreated by their own mother. Not being a loving, caring, and doting mother over his children will get you in a lot of trouble real fast.

9. If you are a Christian young lady, God has commanded you to submit to your husband and God has also commanded you to obey your husband. Ephesians 5:22 states: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Titus 2:5 states: “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Now, if you want to be obedient to God, go ahead and have this kind of attitude and spirit and do this, and you can avoid a whole lot of pain and heartache in your marriage and in your family. I told my wife before we got married that we were going to do this thing called marriage “God’s way or no way,” and what I meant by that is: God is holding me accountable, and I am holding her accountable to doing it His way. And when we do it God’s way, we have peace and tranquility in our homes. When we cease to do it God’s way, we bring problems and trouble in our homes, and sad to say, even domestic violence.

10. Finally, dear sister, take care of business in the bedroom cheerfully and willingly, and “by any means necessary.” Enough said!

Daughters and YBW, if you claim to be a Christian, act like a Christian, and go ahead and stop trying to do marriage your way, and do it God’s way and save yourself a whole lot of heartache and trouble. I hope that you will take the above suggestions in the loving spirit in which they were written.

Daughters and YBW, domestic violence is a choice. Many people choose to have drama like this in their marriages, because of simply wanting to do things their way and not God’s way. No, a man should never hit a woman, but a woman should never provoke a situation that would cause a man to hit her or to abuse her in the first place. Contrary to society, this is a two way street. But you can avoid domestic violence and the pain that comes with it, if you just do the things listed above, in your marriage. I assure you that your marriage and family will be a happy one if you do these things.

As a final note, dear sister, if you are doing God’s will and you are doing your part, but you are still in a relationship that is violent, then I strongly encourage you to run to safety as fast as you can—to a battered women’s shelter or some other organization like that, where the batterer can’t get to you. Again, here is the number to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

May God Bless You and Keep You,
Papa

P.T. (Power-Thoughts):

“I really don’t think…you are in a bargaining position with God. He is the Master. He is the Commanding Officer. It is not for you to have input. It is simply for you to accept the orders as the orders are given.” —Elisabeth Elliot

“Obedience is the road to freedom, humility the road to pleasure, unity the road to personality.” —C.S. Lewis

BIBLE GEM: “Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.” —III John 1:11

TALK TO GOD: Holy Father, I pray that You would protect me from getting into a marriage that is characterized by violence and when I get married to a good, God-fearing man, help me to love my husband and be the wife and mother You would have me to be. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
__________________________

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 7) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

Parents ought to be careful in their training and discipline not to provoke their children “to wrath.” In other words, sometimes a parent’s discipline can be overly harsh, unfair, unloving, or irresponsible, causing children to become angered, discouraged, and resentful.

Parents who discipline fairly, consistently, and lovingly are raising their children well.

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21

Although children are commanded to obey their parents, this does not give parents permission to be cruel or unreasonable in their treatment of their children.

Parents who nag, belittle, or deride their children destroy their self-esteem and discourage them.

The purpose of parental discipline is to train children. Consistent discipline, administered with love, will help children grow into responsible adults.

PRAYER STARTER
Today we’re worried and frightened, Lord. Your children are in need of great help. One needs help handling anger so that he no longer is abusive; the other needs help to know how best to deal with this situation and get her husband the help he needs…
———-
In our next broadcast, we will begin looking at the problem of Domestic violence.
.
—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence. Part 6 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #74)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #74

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #74.

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Colossians 3:12. It reads, “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The apostle proceeds to exhort to mutual love and compassion: Put on therefore bowels of mercy. We must not only put off anger and wrath, but we must put on compassion and kindness; not only cease to do evil, but learn to do well; not only not do hurt to any, but do what good we can to all.

The argument here used to enforce the exhortation is very affecting: Put on, as the elect of God, holy and beloved. Observe, Those who are holy are the elect of God; and those who are the elect of God, and holy, are beloved—beloved of God, and ought to be so of all men. Those who are the elect of God, holy and beloved, ought to conduct themselves in every thing as becomes them, and so as not to lose the credit of their holiness, nor the comfort of their being chosen and beloved. It becomes those who are holy towards God to be lowly and loving towards all men. Observe, What we must put on in particular. Compassion towards the miserable: Bowels of mercy, the tenderest mercies. Those who owe so much to mercy ought to be merciful to all who are proper objects of mercy. Be you merciful, as your Father is merciful. Kindness towards our friends, and those who love us. A courteous disposition becomes the elect of God; for the design of the gospel is not only to soften the minds of men, but to sweeten them, and to promote friendship among men as well as reconciliation with God. Humbleness of mind, in submission to those above us, and condescension to those below us. There must not only be a humble demeanour, but a humble mind. Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart. Meekness towards those who have provoked us, or been any way injurious to us. We must not be transported into any indecency by our resentment of indignities and neglects: but must prudently bridle our own anger, and patiently bear the anger of others. Long-suffering towards those who continue to provoke us. Charity suffereth long, as well as is kind. Many can bear a short provocation who are weary of bearing when it grows long. But we must suffer long both the injuries of men and the rebukes of divine Providence. If God is long-suffering to us, under all our provocations of him, we should exercise long-suffering to others in like cases. Mutual forbearance, in consideration of the infirmities and deficiencies under which we all labour: Forbearing one another. We have all of us something which needs to be borne with, and this is a good reason why we should bear with others in what is disagreeable to us. We need the same good turn from others which we are bound to show them. A readiness to forgive injuries: Forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any. While we are in this world, where there is so much corruption in our hearts, and so much occasion of difference and contention, quarrels will sometimes happen, even among the elect of God, who are holy and beloved, as Paul and Barnabas had a sharp contention, which parted them asunder one from the other, and Paul and Peter. But it is our duty to forgive one another in such cases; not to bear any grudge, but put up with the affront and pass it by. And the reason is: Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. The consideration that we are forgiven by Christ so many offences is a good reason why we should forgive others. It is an argument of the divinity of Christ that he had power on earth to forgive sins; and it is a branch of his example which we are obliged to follow, if we ourselves would be forgiven. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Our quote for today is from Russell Wilson. He said, “Domestic violence isn’t going to disappear tomorrow or the next day. But the more that we choose not to talk about it, the more we shy away from the issue, the more we lose.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 6) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Note: During the six months following an episode of domestic violence, 32 percent of battered women are victimized again.

Note: As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS

“And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock? And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also.” – Numbers 20:10-11

Moses acted in anger. He did not obey God and was punished by not being allowed to lead his people into the Promised Land.

Anger can be the most damaging of all emotions, causing people to say or do things they regret. Out-of-control anger can ruin friendships and marriages and even cause nations to go to war.

Some people end up living forever with consequences of choices made in a moment of heated anger. People who struggle with destructive anger must find help to discover alternative ways to manage it. This begins by turning it over to God.

“And he went unto his father’s house at Ophrah, and slew his brethren the sons of Jerubbaal, being threescore and ten persons, upon one stone: notwithstanding yet Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left; for he hid himself.” – Judges 9:5

The tragic story of Abimelech pictures extreme violence used for selfish reasons. This illegitimate son of Gideon and the concubine brought disaster on the rest of Gideon’s family.

Violence and murder became his way of dealing with all threats to his power. In the end, however, his violent ways resulted in his own destruction.

Violence doesn’t really resolve anything and ultimately leads to more violence.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 5 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #73)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #73

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #73

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Proverbs 25:28. It reads, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The good character of a wise and virtuous man implied. He is one that has rule over his own spirit; he maintains the government of himself, and of his own appetites and passions, and does not suffer them to rebel against reason and conscience. He has the rule of his own thoughts, his desires, his inclinations, his resentments, and keeps them all in good order. The bad case of a vicious man, who has not this rule over his own spirit, who, when temptations to excess in eating or drinking are before him, has no government of himself, when he is provoked breaks out into exorbitant passions, such a one is like a city that is broken down and without walls. All that is good goes out, and forsakes him; all that is evil breaks in upon him. He lies exposed to all the temptations of Satan and becomes an easy prey to that enemy; he is also liable to many troubles and vexations; it is likewise as much a reproach to him as it is to a city to have its walls ruined.

Our quote for today is from Martin Luther. He said, “What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 5) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

ACTION STEPS
The following steps are specific actions for the counselor to take.

1. Provide for Safety
Reassurance of the person’s safety (and that of any children involved) is the first priority.
Empower the victim to separate from their abuser if necessary.

2. Have a Plan
Help the person develop a plan for the next time abuse occurs.
Be sure the victim has numbers to call — police, a family shelter or hotline, and a trusted friend or counselor. These numbers should be in an easily accessible place.
If the victim decides to leave, where will they go? Who will they call?
Advise the victim to have bags with essentials packed and in an easily accessible location so he or she and the children can leave quickly if needed.
The victim should photocopy important documents and have them packed as well.
Think through how the victim can access money, car keys, and important documents if she does need to leave suddenly.
If he or she needs to leave at some point after an abusive incident, tell them that no argument or discussion should happen at this point, but she should calmly exit and go to a location predetermined with the people at that location (if the place is with a friend or family member).

3. Follow Up
After the first session, put a follow-up plan in place for the victim to get continued help.

4. Provide Reassurance
Reassure the person that abuse is never “deserved” and is always wrong.
A husband’s role of headship in a marriage never includes the right to control or abuse. A wife’s role never includes the right to control or abuse, nor does it include submitting to abuse.

5. Assess Relationships
Assess how much support the person has and encourage him or her to reach out to others for help.
A victim of abuse is often isolated, both out of shame over the situation and the abuser’s need to control.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 3 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #71)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #71

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #71

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Ephesians 4:26. It reads, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

“Take heed of anger and ungoverned passions. Be you angry, and sin not,” This is borrowed from the Septuagint translation of Ps. 4:4, where we render it, Stand in awe, and sin not. Here is an easy concession; for as such we should consider it, rather than as a command. Be you angry. This we are apt enough to be, God knows: but we find it difficult enough to observe the restriction, and sin not. “If you have a just occasion to be angry at any time, see that it be without sin; and therefore take heed of excess in your anger.” If we would be angry and not sin (says one), we must be angry at nothing but sin; and we should be more jealous for the glory of God than for any interest or reputation of our own. One great and common sin in anger is to suffer it to burn into wrath, and then to let it rest; and therefore we are here cautioned against that. “If you have been provoked and have had your spirits greatly discomposed, and if you have bitterly resented any affront that has been offered, before night calm and quiet your spirits, be reconciled to the offender, and let all be well again. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. If it burn into wrath and bitterness of spirit, O see to it that you suppress it speedily.” Observe, Though anger in itself is not sinful, yet there is the upmost danger of its becoming so if it be not carefully watched and speedily suppressed. And therefore, though anger may come into the bosom of a wise man, it rests only in the bosom of fools.

Our quote for today is from Martin Luther. He said, “What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 3) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Consequences
Physical
Women with a history of IPV report 60 percent higher rates of all health problems than do women with no history of abuse.IPV victims report lasting negative health problems, such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal disorders, and irritable bowel syndrome, which can interfere with or limit daily functioning. The more severe the abuse, the greater its impact on a woman’s physical and mental health, resulting in a cumulative effect over time. IPV also affects reproductive health and can lead to gynecological disorders, unwanted pregnancy, premature labor and birth, and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS, IPV victims have a higher prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, hysterectomy, and heart or circulatory conditions.

Psychological
Abused girls and women often experience adverse mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Women with a history of IPV experience increased levels of substance use, and antisocial and suicidal behavior.

Social
Children who witness IPV are at greater risk of developing psychiatric disorders, developmental problems, school failure, violence against others, and low self-esteem. Women in violent relationships have been found to be restricted in the way they gain access to services, take part in public life, and receive emotional support from friends and relatives.

Vulnerability of Victimization
Several factors are related to IPV: history of physical abuse, prior injury from the same partner, having a verbally abusive partner, economic stress, partner history of alcohol or drug abuse, childhood abuse, being under the age of twenty-four, marital conflict, male dominance in the family, poor family functioning.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 2 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #70

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Ephesians 4:2. It reads, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The means of unity: Lowliness and meekness, long-suffering, and forbearing one another in love. By lowliness we are to understand humility, entertaining mean thoughts of ourselves, which is opposed to pride. By meekness, that excellent disposition of soul which makes men unwilling to provoke others, and not easily to be provoked or offended with their infirmities; and it is opposed to angry resentments and peevishness. Long-suffering implies a patient bearing of injuries, without seeking revenge. Forbearing one another in love signifies bearing their infirmities out of a principle of love, and so as not to cease to love them on the account of these. The best Christians have need to bear one with another, and to make the best one of another, to provoke one another’s graces and not their passions. We find much in ourselves which it is hard to forgive ourselves; and therefore we must not think it much if we find that in others which we think hard to forgive them, and yet we must forgive them as we forgive ourselves. Now without these things unity cannot be preserved. The first step towards unity is humility; without this there will be no meekness, no patience, or forbearance; and without these no unity. Pride and paOnly by pride comes contention; only by humility comes love. The more lowly-mindedness the more like-mindedness. We do not walk worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called if we be not meek and lowly of heart: for he by whom we are called, he to whom we are called, was eminent for meekness and lowliness of heart, and has commanded us therein to learn of him.

Our quote for today is from Leslie Morgan Steiner. She said, “Domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships – in other words, in families – the last place we would want or expect to find violence.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 2) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

DEFINITIONS AND KEY THOUGHTS
The U.S. Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a “pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can take many forms such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, and psychological abuse.

Domestic violence or intimate partner violence (OPV) may follow a three-step circular pattern.

1. Tension builds until the abuser loses control.
2. Battering occurs. The batterer sometimes feels that the victim deserves it or that he or she needs to teach the victim a lesson. Rationalization about the battering and minimization of the consequences of the abuse are common.
3. Remorse. The batterer is sorry and asks for forgiveness. The tension is gone and he or she asks for reconciliation. The batterer may make promises that “it will never happen again” and behave in very loving and contrite ways.

The third stage of the cycle looks a great deal like true repentance. However it is due only to an absence of tension and the feeling on the part of the abuser that the victim has “learned her [or his] lesson.” When this situation changes and the tension again increases, the battering can recur.
Domestic violence is fueled by the batterer’s need to control. When the victim tries to break the cycle, she or he can be in danger of more battering.
Biblical headship in a marriage is based on love and servant leadership, not on the man’s control over his wife and certainly not on physical coercion.
Abusers and victims of domestic abuse often grew up in abusive homes.
Many of the predictors of domestic violence are present in the dating relationship.

Some of these predictors are:
— use of force or violence to solve problems
— a male abuser’s need to prove himself by acting tough
— rigid ideas of what men and women should be like
— the victim’s fears of the abuser’s anger

In public, abusers can often be charming and personable but behave entirely different in private. In counseling sessions, abusers can seem quite reasonable and can try to influence you, portraying their wives as irrational or rebellious and wanting you to see their ride.

Nearly 5.3 million intimate partner victimizations occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older. This violence results in nearly 2 million injuries and nearly 1,300 deaths.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 1 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #69)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #69

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #69

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Psalm 11:5. It reads, “The Lord trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The Lord tries all the children of men that he may do them good in their latter end. Let not that therefore shake our foundations nor discourage our hope and trust in God.V. That, however persecutors and oppressors may prosper and prevail awhile, they now lie under, and will for ever perish under, the wrath of God. He is a holy God, and therefore hates them, and cannot endure to look upon them: The wicked, and him that loveth violence, his soul hateth; for nothing is more contrary to the rectitude and goodness of his nature. Their prosperity is so far from being an evidence of God’s love that their abuse of it does certainly make them the objects of his hatred. He that hates nothing that he has made, yet hates those who have thus ill-made themselves. Dr. Hammond offers another reading of this verse: The Lord trieth the righteous and the wicked (distinguishes infallibly between them, which is more than we can do), and he that loveth violence hateth his own soul, that is, persecutors bring certain ruin upon themselves, as follows here. 2. He is a righteous Judge, and therefore he will punish them.

Our quote for today is from Honor Blackman. She said, “Domestic violence can be so easy for people to ignore, as it often happens without any witnesses and it is sometimes easier not to get involved. Yet, by publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes towards violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 1) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

PORTRAITS
Marge stared into the mirror at the new bruise on her face. She had imagined that this would be happening to her. She knew her husband, Pul, was sorry; he had told her so again and again last night after he had seen the marks on her face where he had hit her. This morning before he left for work, he had promised that it wouldn’t happen again if she would just give him another chance.
Janet didn’t know what to do. The wedding was only weeks away and she had always thought that she and Randy had made such a good couple. But lately he was becoming more controlling of her time and demanded to know where she was going when he wasn’t with her. He was also getting jealous when some of her other friends spent time with her. But last night had been the worst. When she had disagreed with him, he had actually grabbed her arms and shaken her. She had been afraid. But surely he would calm down once they were married, wouldn’t he?
Tom was afraid. Marsha had always had a temper and would occasionally slap him when she got angry. But last night she had been drinking and when she attacked him, she really tried to hurt him. /tom knew he couldn’t fight back but he didn’t know how much more of it he could take.

In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 8 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #68)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #68

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #68

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Malachi 2:14-15. It reads, “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Corrupt practices are the fruit of corrupt principles; and he who is false to his God, will not be true to his fellow mortals. In contempt of the marriage covenant, which God instituted, the Jews put away the wives they had of their own nation, probably to make room for strange wives. They made their lives bitter to them; yet, in the sight of others, they pretend to be tender of them. Consider she is thy wife; thy own; the nearest relation thou hast in the world. The wife is to be looked on, not as a servant, but as a companion to the husband. There is an oath of God between them, which is not to be trifled with. Man and wife should continue to their lives’ end, in holy love and peace. Did not God make one, one Eve for one Adam? Yet God could have made another Eve. Wherefore did he make but one woman for one man? It was that the children might be made a seed to serve him. Husbands and wives must live in the fear of God, that their seed may be a godly seed. The God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away. Those who would be kept from sin, must take heed to their spirits, for there all sin begins. Men will find that their wrong conduct in their families springs from selfishness, which disregards the welfare and happiness of others, when opposed to their own passions and fancies. It is wearisome to God to hear people justify themselves in wicked practices. Those who think God can be a friend to sin, affront him, and deceive themselves. The scoffers said, Where is the God of judgement? but the day of the Lord will come.

Our quote for today is from Robert Anderson. He said, “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 8) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

“The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.” – John 4:17-18

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. As painful as divorce is for all involved and as heartbreaking as divorce is for those who face it without wanting it, God can touch broken hearts and lives and make them whole again.

When possible, couples should seek every option they can to avoid divorce.

At times, however, the unthinkable occurs. God is there to help us pick up the pieces.

“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” – 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

When one spouse becomes a Christian and the other doesn’t, the believing spouse should stay in the marriage.

Paul explained that the marriage bond is so strong that a believer should not willingly break it. Through that union, the unbeliever may become a Christian. In any event, the believer can have a positive influence on the spouse and children.

As of 2003,43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).

The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 — the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990.

PRAYER STARTER
Lord, we know that You hate divorce. You hate what it does to people. You hate the death it causes of a marriage, a family, a dream. And yet, it is a sad reality. We want Your will, Lord. We want what is best for all concerned. I pray today for…

In our next broadcast, we will begin looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 7 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #67)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #67

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #67

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Mark 10:3-5. It reads, “And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Christ’s reply to them with a question; What did Moses command you? This he asked them, to testify His respect to the law of Moses, and to show that He came not to destroy it; and to engage them to a universal impartial respect for Moses’s writings and to compare one part of them with another.

The fair account they gave of what they found in the law of Moses, expressly concerning divorce. Christ asked, What did Moses command you? They own that Moses only suffered, or permitted, a man to write his wife a bill of divorce, and to put her away, Deu. 24:1. “If you will do it, you must do it in writing, delivered into her own hand, and so put her away, and never return to her again.”

The answer that Christ gave to their question, in which He abides by the doctrine He had formerly laid down in this case, That whosoever puts away his wife, except for fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. And to clear this He here shows,

(1.) That the reason why Moses, in his law, permitted divorce, was such, as that they ought not to make use of that permission; for it was only for the hardness of their hearts, lest, if they were not permitted to divorce their wives, they should murder them; so that none must put away their wives but such as are willing to own that their hearts were so hard as to need this permission.

(2.) That the account which Moses, in this history, gives of the institution of marriage, affords such a reason against divorce, as amounts to a prohibition of it. So that if the question be, What did Moses command?, it must be answered, “Though by a temporary proviso he allowed divorce to the Jews, yet by an eternal reason he forbade it to all the children of Adam and Eve, and that is it which we must abide by.”

Our quote for today is from Wayne Mack. He said, “According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self-giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to the wife, and the wife gives herself to the husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 7) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS

“They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” – Matthew 19:7-8

God has always intended each married couple, one man and one woman, to remain married for life. Moses had indeed permitted divorce but only because of the “hardness” of human hearts.

Divorce is permissible, but marriage vows should not be taken lightly.

God would have couples do their best — with His help — to keep their marriage intact. If a divorce occurs, God’s compassionate love can heal even the deepest wounds.

“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.” – Deuteronomy 24:1

God desires marriages to stay together. Because sin has infected all relationships, however, some marriages do not survive.

Moses’ commands regarding divorce were given in a culture where a man could divorce his wife verbally and leave her with no property or rights. These commandments regulating divorce in Israel protected those left most helpless — the woman and her children.

The Bible does not give people an easy way out of their commitments. People are expected to honor the commitments.

8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents — the lowest figure in the Western world.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 6 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #66)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #66

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #66

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Luke 16:18. It reads, “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

There were some things which were connived at by the law, for the preventing of greater mischiefs, the permission of which the gospel has indeed taken away, but without any detriment or disparagement to the law, for it has thereby reduced them to the primitive intention of the law, as in the case of divorce, which we had before. Christ will not allow divorces, for his gospel is intended to strike at the bitter root of men’s corrupt appetites and passions, to kill them, and pluck them up; and therefore they must not be so far indulged as that permission did indulge them, for the more they are indulged the more impetuous and headstrong they grow.

Our quote for today is from John C. Broger. He said, “Many conflicts in a marriage result from living to please self instead of living to please the Lord. These conflicts can be resolved and are actually opportunities for spiritual growth when dealt with in a biblical manner.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 6) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

ACTION STEPS
For Couples Contemplating Divorce
1. Put the Divorce on Hold
Wait for a tie and attend marriage counseling if you have not yet done so.
Begin to meet with a trained marriage mentoring couple who can encourage and instruct you.
Considering the devastation a divorce causes for all involved, isn’t it worth your best efforts to save this marriage if you can? At the end of the marriage mentoring and counseling, you can revisit your decision and see if there is any reason to be hopeful.

2. Go to Marriage Mentoring and Counseling
(Have on file the names of several good Christians marriage counselors who have a record of success in helping couples restore their marriages.)
Work with pastoral staff to determine how and when to utilize marriage mentoring and professional counseling.

3. Read Books
Suggest to the couple this list of books:
Grace and Divorce: God’s Healing Gift to Those Whose Marriages Fall Short by Les Carter
Before a Bad Goodbye by Tim Clinton
Helping Children Survive Divorce by Archibald D. Hart
The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts by Judith S. Wallerstein
Divorce Recovery: For Those Starting Over Again by Tom Whiteman
Many people were once where you are today and they now have healthy and fulfilling marriages. It is helpful to read what has helped others.

For Victims of Divorce
1. Go to a Recovery Group
Start attending a divorce recovery group. Many larger churches have these groups (Research and recommend.)
Some groups last a specific number of weeks and some are 12-step programs that meet every week indefinitely.

2. Go to Counseling
Start individual counseling on a weekly basis. You need someone to whom you can be accountable.
Make a commitment to meet with a counselor once a week.

3. Make No Major Decisions
Do not make any major life decisions for at least a year without running it by your counselor or pastor.
This helps guard against making poor decisions while you are still emotionally vulnerable

4. Develop No New Relationships
Do not rush into any new dating relationships.
Focus on letting God fill the emptiness inside you. You need to heal before entering another relationship.

5. Pursue Church Involvement
Get involved in church and join a Sunday school class.
Seek out friends of the same sex to whom you can talk and with whom you can do activities.
When you feel up to it, serve and help others.

There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005–down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.