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God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems

We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

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Domestic Violence, Part 3 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #71)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #71

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #71

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Ephesians 4:26. It reads, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

“Take heed of anger and ungoverned passions. Be you angry, and sin not,” This is borrowed from the Septuagint translation of Ps. 4:4, where we render it, Stand in awe, and sin not. Here is an easy concession; for as such we should consider it, rather than as a command. Be you angry. This we are apt enough to be, God knows: but we find it difficult enough to observe the restriction, and sin not. “If you have a just occasion to be angry at any time, see that it be without sin; and therefore take heed of excess in your anger.” If we would be angry and not sin (says one), we must be angry at nothing but sin; and we should be more jealous for the glory of God than for any interest or reputation of our own. One great and common sin in anger is to suffer it to burn into wrath, and then to let it rest; and therefore we are here cautioned against that. “If you have been provoked and have had your spirits greatly discomposed, and if you have bitterly resented any affront that has been offered, before night calm and quiet your spirits, be reconciled to the offender, and let all be well again. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. If it burn into wrath and bitterness of spirit, O see to it that you suppress it speedily.” Observe, Though anger in itself is not sinful, yet there is the upmost danger of its becoming so if it be not carefully watched and speedily suppressed. And therefore, though anger may come into the bosom of a wise man, it rests only in the bosom of fools.

Our quote for today is from Martin Luther. He said, “What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 3) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Consequences
Physical
Women with a history of IPV report 60 percent higher rates of all health problems than do women with no history of abuse.IPV victims report lasting negative health problems, such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal disorders, and irritable bowel syndrome, which can interfere with or limit daily functioning. The more severe the abuse, the greater its impact on a woman’s physical and mental health, resulting in a cumulative effect over time. IPV also affects reproductive health and can lead to gynecological disorders, unwanted pregnancy, premature labor and birth, and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS, IPV victims have a higher prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, hysterectomy, and heart or circulatory conditions.

Psychological
Abused girls and women often experience adverse mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Women with a history of IPV experience increased levels of substance use, and antisocial and suicidal behavior.

Social
Children who witness IPV are at greater risk of developing psychiatric disorders, developmental problems, school failure, violence against others, and low self-esteem. Women in violent relationships have been found to be restricted in the way they gain access to services, take part in public life, and receive emotional support from friends and relatives.

Vulnerability of Victimization
Several factors are related to IPV: history of physical abuse, prior injury from the same partner, having a verbally abusive partner, economic stress, partner history of alcohol or drug abuse, childhood abuse, being under the age of twenty-four, marital conflict, male dominance in the family, poor family functioning.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 2 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #70

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #70

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Ephesians 4:2. It reads, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The means of unity: Lowliness and meekness, long-suffering, and forbearing one another in love. By lowliness we are to understand humility, entertaining mean thoughts of ourselves, which is opposed to pride. By meekness, that excellent disposition of soul which makes men unwilling to provoke others, and not easily to be provoked or offended with their infirmities; and it is opposed to angry resentments and peevishness. Long-suffering implies a patient bearing of injuries, without seeking revenge. Forbearing one another in love signifies bearing their infirmities out of a principle of love, and so as not to cease to love them on the account of these. The best Christians have need to bear one with another, and to make the best one of another, to provoke one another’s graces and not their passions. We find much in ourselves which it is hard to forgive ourselves; and therefore we must not think it much if we find that in others which we think hard to forgive them, and yet we must forgive them as we forgive ourselves. Now without these things unity cannot be preserved. The first step towards unity is humility; without this there will be no meekness, no patience, or forbearance; and without these no unity. Pride and paOnly by pride comes contention; only by humility comes love. The more lowly-mindedness the more like-mindedness. We do not walk worthy of the vocation wherewith we are called if we be not meek and lowly of heart: for he by whom we are called, he to whom we are called, was eminent for meekness and lowliness of heart, and has commanded us therein to learn of him.

Our quote for today is from Leslie Morgan Steiner. She said, “Domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships – in other words, in families – the last place we would want or expect to find violence.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 2) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

DEFINITIONS AND KEY THOUGHTS
The U.S. Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a “pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can take many forms such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, and psychological abuse.

Domestic violence or intimate partner violence (OPV) may follow a three-step circular pattern.

1. Tension builds until the abuser loses control.
2. Battering occurs. The batterer sometimes feels that the victim deserves it or that he or she needs to teach the victim a lesson. Rationalization about the battering and minimization of the consequences of the abuse are common.
3. Remorse. The batterer is sorry and asks for forgiveness. The tension is gone and he or she asks for reconciliation. The batterer may make promises that “it will never happen again” and behave in very loving and contrite ways.

The third stage of the cycle looks a great deal like true repentance. However it is due only to an absence of tension and the feeling on the part of the abuser that the victim has “learned her [or his] lesson.” When this situation changes and the tension again increases, the battering can recur.
Domestic violence is fueled by the batterer’s need to control. When the victim tries to break the cycle, she or he can be in danger of more battering.
Biblical headship in a marriage is based on love and servant leadership, not on the man’s control over his wife and certainly not on physical coercion.
Abusers and victims of domestic abuse often grew up in abusive homes.
Many of the predictors of domestic violence are present in the dating relationship.

Some of these predictors are:
— use of force or violence to solve problems
— a male abuser’s need to prove himself by acting tough
— rigid ideas of what men and women should be like
— the victim’s fears of the abuser’s anger

In public, abusers can often be charming and personable but behave entirely different in private. In counseling sessions, abusers can seem quite reasonable and can try to influence you, portraying their wives as irrational or rebellious and wanting you to see their ride.

Nearly 5.3 million intimate partner victimizations occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older. This violence results in nearly 2 million injuries and nearly 1,300 deaths.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Domestic Violence, Part 1 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #69)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #69

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #69

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Psalm 11:5. It reads, “The Lord trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The Lord tries all the children of men that he may do them good in their latter end. Let not that therefore shake our foundations nor discourage our hope and trust in God.V. That, however persecutors and oppressors may prosper and prevail awhile, they now lie under, and will for ever perish under, the wrath of God. He is a holy God, and therefore hates them, and cannot endure to look upon them: The wicked, and him that loveth violence, his soul hateth; for nothing is more contrary to the rectitude and goodness of his nature. Their prosperity is so far from being an evidence of God’s love that their abuse of it does certainly make them the objects of his hatred. He that hates nothing that he has made, yet hates those who have thus ill-made themselves. Dr. Hammond offers another reading of this verse: The Lord trieth the righteous and the wicked (distinguishes infallibly between them, which is more than we can do), and he that loveth violence hateth his own soul, that is, persecutors bring certain ruin upon themselves, as follows here. 2. He is a righteous Judge, and therefore he will punish them.

Our quote for today is from Honor Blackman. She said, “Domestic violence can be so easy for people to ignore, as it often happens without any witnesses and it is sometimes easier not to get involved. Yet, by publicly speaking out against domestic violence, together we can challenge attitudes towards violence in the home and show that domestic violence is a crime and not merely unacceptable.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 1) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

PORTRAITS
Marge stared into the mirror at the new bruise on her face. She had imagined that this would be happening to her. She knew her husband, Pul, was sorry; he had told her so again and again last night after he had seen the marks on her face where he had hit her. This morning before he left for work, he had promised that it wouldn’t happen again if she would just give him another chance.
Janet didn’t know what to do. The wedding was only weeks away and she had always thought that she and Randy had made such a good couple. But lately he was becoming more controlling of her time and demanded to know where she was going when he wasn’t with her. He was also getting jealous when some of her other friends spent time with her. But last night had been the worst. When she had disagreed with him, he had actually grabbed her arms and shaken her. She had been afraid. But surely he would calm down once they were married, wouldn’t he?
Tom was afraid. Marsha had always had a temper and would occasionally slap him when she got angry. But last night she had been drinking and when she attacked him, she really tried to hurt him. /tom knew he couldn’t fight back but he didn’t know how much more of it he could take.

In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 8 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #68)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #68

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #68

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Malachi 2:14-15. It reads, “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Corrupt practices are the fruit of corrupt principles; and he who is false to his God, will not be true to his fellow mortals. In contempt of the marriage covenant, which God instituted, the Jews put away the wives they had of their own nation, probably to make room for strange wives. They made their lives bitter to them; yet, in the sight of others, they pretend to be tender of them. Consider she is thy wife; thy own; the nearest relation thou hast in the world. The wife is to be looked on, not as a servant, but as a companion to the husband. There is an oath of God between them, which is not to be trifled with. Man and wife should continue to their lives’ end, in holy love and peace. Did not God make one, one Eve for one Adam? Yet God could have made another Eve. Wherefore did he make but one woman for one man? It was that the children might be made a seed to serve him. Husbands and wives must live in the fear of God, that their seed may be a godly seed. The God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away. Those who would be kept from sin, must take heed to their spirits, for there all sin begins. Men will find that their wrong conduct in their families springs from selfishness, which disregards the welfare and happiness of others, when opposed to their own passions and fancies. It is wearisome to God to hear people justify themselves in wicked practices. Those who think God can be a friend to sin, affront him, and deceive themselves. The scoffers said, Where is the God of judgement? but the day of the Lord will come.

Our quote for today is from Robert Anderson. He said, “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 8) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

“The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.” – John 4:17-18

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. As painful as divorce is for all involved and as heartbreaking as divorce is for those who face it without wanting it, God can touch broken hearts and lives and make them whole again.

When possible, couples should seek every option they can to avoid divorce.

At times, however, the unthinkable occurs. God is there to help us pick up the pieces.

“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” – 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

When one spouse becomes a Christian and the other doesn’t, the believing spouse should stay in the marriage.

Paul explained that the marriage bond is so strong that a believer should not willingly break it. Through that union, the unbeliever may become a Christian. In any event, the believer can have a positive influence on the spouse and children.

As of 2003,43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).

The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 — the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990.

PRAYER STARTER
Lord, we know that You hate divorce. You hate what it does to people. You hate the death it causes of a marriage, a family, a dream. And yet, it is a sad reality. We want Your will, Lord. We want what is best for all concerned. I pray today for…

In our next broadcast, we will begin looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 7 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #67)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #67

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #67

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Mark 10:3-5. It reads, “And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Christ’s reply to them with a question; What did Moses command you? This he asked them, to testify His respect to the law of Moses, and to show that He came not to destroy it; and to engage them to a universal impartial respect for Moses’s writings and to compare one part of them with another.

The fair account they gave of what they found in the law of Moses, expressly concerning divorce. Christ asked, What did Moses command you? They own that Moses only suffered, or permitted, a man to write his wife a bill of divorce, and to put her away, Deu. 24:1. “If you will do it, you must do it in writing, delivered into her own hand, and so put her away, and never return to her again.”

The answer that Christ gave to their question, in which He abides by the doctrine He had formerly laid down in this case, That whosoever puts away his wife, except for fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. And to clear this He here shows,

(1.) That the reason why Moses, in his law, permitted divorce, was such, as that they ought not to make use of that permission; for it was only for the hardness of their hearts, lest, if they were not permitted to divorce their wives, they should murder them; so that none must put away their wives but such as are willing to own that their hearts were so hard as to need this permission.

(2.) That the account which Moses, in this history, gives of the institution of marriage, affords such a reason against divorce, as amounts to a prohibition of it. So that if the question be, What did Moses command?, it must be answered, “Though by a temporary proviso he allowed divorce to the Jews, yet by an eternal reason he forbade it to all the children of Adam and Eve, and that is it which we must abide by.”

Our quote for today is from Wayne Mack. He said, “According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self-giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to the wife, and the wife gives herself to the husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 7) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS

“They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” – Matthew 19:7-8

God has always intended each married couple, one man and one woman, to remain married for life. Moses had indeed permitted divorce but only because of the “hardness” of human hearts.

Divorce is permissible, but marriage vows should not be taken lightly.

God would have couples do their best — with His help — to keep their marriage intact. If a divorce occurs, God’s compassionate love can heal even the deepest wounds.

“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.” – Deuteronomy 24:1

God desires marriages to stay together. Because sin has infected all relationships, however, some marriages do not survive.

Moses’ commands regarding divorce were given in a culture where a man could divorce his wife verbally and leave her with no property or rights. These commandments regulating divorce in Israel protected those left most helpless — the woman and her children.

The Bible does not give people an easy way out of their commitments. People are expected to honor the commitments.

8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents — the lowest figure in the Western world.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 6 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #66)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #66

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #66

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Luke 16:18. It reads, “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

There were some things which were connived at by the law, for the preventing of greater mischiefs, the permission of which the gospel has indeed taken away, but without any detriment or disparagement to the law, for it has thereby reduced them to the primitive intention of the law, as in the case of divorce, which we had before. Christ will not allow divorces, for his gospel is intended to strike at the bitter root of men’s corrupt appetites and passions, to kill them, and pluck them up; and therefore they must not be so far indulged as that permission did indulge them, for the more they are indulged the more impetuous and headstrong they grow.

Our quote for today is from John C. Broger. He said, “Many conflicts in a marriage result from living to please self instead of living to please the Lord. These conflicts can be resolved and are actually opportunities for spiritual growth when dealt with in a biblical manner.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 6) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

ACTION STEPS
For Couples Contemplating Divorce
1. Put the Divorce on Hold
Wait for a tie and attend marriage counseling if you have not yet done so.
Begin to meet with a trained marriage mentoring couple who can encourage and instruct you.
Considering the devastation a divorce causes for all involved, isn’t it worth your best efforts to save this marriage if you can? At the end of the marriage mentoring and counseling, you can revisit your decision and see if there is any reason to be hopeful.

2. Go to Marriage Mentoring and Counseling
(Have on file the names of several good Christians marriage counselors who have a record of success in helping couples restore their marriages.)
Work with pastoral staff to determine how and when to utilize marriage mentoring and professional counseling.

3. Read Books
Suggest to the couple this list of books:
Grace and Divorce: God’s Healing Gift to Those Whose Marriages Fall Short by Les Carter
Before a Bad Goodbye by Tim Clinton
Helping Children Survive Divorce by Archibald D. Hart
The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts by Judith S. Wallerstein
Divorce Recovery: For Those Starting Over Again by Tom Whiteman
Many people were once where you are today and they now have healthy and fulfilling marriages. It is helpful to read what has helped others.

For Victims of Divorce
1. Go to a Recovery Group
Start attending a divorce recovery group. Many larger churches have these groups (Research and recommend.)
Some groups last a specific number of weeks and some are 12-step programs that meet every week indefinitely.

2. Go to Counseling
Start individual counseling on a weekly basis. You need someone to whom you can be accountable.
Make a commitment to meet with a counselor once a week.

3. Make No Major Decisions
Do not make any major life decisions for at least a year without running it by your counselor or pastor.
This helps guard against making poor decisions while you are still emotionally vulnerable

4. Develop No New Relationships
Do not rush into any new dating relationships.
Focus on letting God fill the emptiness inside you. You need to heal before entering another relationship.

5. Pursue Church Involvement
Get involved in church and join a Sunday school class.
Seek out friends of the same sex to whom you can talk and with whom you can do activities.
When you feel up to it, serve and help others.

There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005–down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 5 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #65)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #65

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #65

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Matthew 19:6. It reads, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The nature of the marriage contract; it is a union of persons; They twain shall be one flesh, so that they are no more twain, but one flesh. A man’s children are pieces of himself, but his wife is himself. As the conjugal union is closer than that between parents and children, so it is in a manner equivalent to that between one member and another in the natural body. As this is a reason why husbands should love their wives, so it is a reason why they should not put away their wives, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, or cut it off, but nourishes and cherishes it, and does all he can to preserve it. They two shall be one, therefore there must be but one wife, for God made but one Eve for one Adam.

From hence he infers, What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Note, (1.) Husband and wife are of God’s joining together; synezeuxen—He hath yoked them together, so the word is, and it is very significant. God Himself instituted the relation between husband and wife in the state of innocence. Marriage and the sabbath are the most ancient of divine ordinances. Though marriage be not peculiar to the church, but common to the world, yet, being stamped with a divine institution, and here ratified by our Lord Jesus, it ought to be managed after a godly sort, and sanctified by the Word of God, and prayer. A conscientious regard to God in this ordinance would have a good influence upon the duty, and consequently upon the comfort, of the relation. (2.) Husband and wife, being joined together by the ordinance of God, are not to be put asunder by any ordinance of man. Let not man put them asunder; not the husband himself, nor any one for him; not the magistrate, God never gave him authority to do it. The God of Israel hath said, that He hateth putting away. It is a general rule that man must not go about to put asunder what God hath joined together.

Our quote for today is from C. S. Lewis. He said, “When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 5) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

WISE COUNSEL
For Couples Contemplating Divorce
Share what God says about divorce. Explain that God hates divorce because of the hurt and devastation it brings to people. He still loves the people involved.

Make clear that the only biblical reasons for divorce are constant sexual sin (by one or both of the partners in violation of the marital covenant) and abandonment.

Make it clear that people are not commanded to divorce in these situations but are allowed to. Forgiveness and restoration are also an option when true repentance is embraced by the partner who has violated the marital covenant.

Empathize with the pain and hurt both spouses are going through, but share with them the new problems divorce will bring:

— financial difficulty of providing for two households
— probability of custody battles
— stress of single parenthood, with no one to help
— guilt from seeing the children’s world torn apart
— dealing with sending children back and forth between the parents
— anger
— grief
— depression
— hopelessness

For Victims of Divorce
Assure the counselee that God sees his or her troubles. It grieves Him to see the person hurt like this (Isaiah 40:27-28).

Using the Scripture under Biblical Insights, let victims of divorce know that God loves them and totally accepts them. He understands their feelings of betrayal and rejection because He was also betrayed and rejected.

Explain the importance of grieving and the time it takes.

Grieving usually takes two to five years and consists of five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A person usually goes through these stages many times in different order until healing occurs.

Validate the evil done against the victim. Emphasize that, though the person is a victim, he or she can become a survivor.

Give hope that God can bring good out of this (Romans 8:28).

Share with the person that other people may judge him or her unjustly; the victim will be tempted to feel shame because of the divorce. It is important that he or she not accept that shame. The person must put it back on the spouse who wronged him or her. Express that the person will never be truly healed and released until he or she forgives self and the spouse. As long as he or she lives with anger and resentment, the victim is not free from these feelings.

Wen couples who are contemplating divorce because they cannot get along ask if they should stay together for the sake of the children, the typical answer is, “Absolutely.”

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 4 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #64)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #64

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #64

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Mark 10:11-12. It reads, “And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

Now from all this he infers, that men ought not to put their wives asunder from them, whom God has put so near them. The bond which God Himself has tied, is not to be lightly untied. They who are divorcing their wives for every offence, would do well to consider what would become of them, if God should in like manner deal with them. Christ’s discourse with His disciples, in private, about this matter. It was an advantage to them, that they had opportunity of personal converse with Christ, not only about gospel mysteries, but about moral duties, for further satisfaction. No more is here related of this private conference, that the law Christ laid down in this case—That it is adultery for a man to put away his wife, and marry another; it is adultery against the wife he puts away, it is a wrong to her, a breach of his contract with her. He adds, If a woman shall put away her husband, that is, elope from him, leave him by consent, and be married to another, she commits adultery, and it will be no excuse at all for her to say that it was with the consent of her husband. Wisdom and grace, holiness and love, reigning in the heart, will make those commands easy which to the carnal mind may be as a heavy yoke.

Our quote for today is from John Piper. He said, “What makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and His covenant. Christ will never leave His wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps His covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the ultimate thing we can say about it. It puts the glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 4) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

For a Victim of Divorce–A Person Divorced against His or Her Will
When a victim of divorce comes for counseling, it is a positive sign that he or she feels worthy of help, even though the person’s self-worth may have been demolished by the divorce.

Reinforce his or her decision by reminding the person that the Bible says only the wise seek counsel (Prov. 12:15).

Rule Outs
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being joy and 1 being hopelessness, where would you put yourself? (You will want to rule out the presence of clinical depression.)

2. Do you feel down much of the day on most days?

3. Have you had any thoughts of hurting yourself or others? (If you feel the client is a danger to self or others, refer him or her to a professional counselor immediately.)

General Questions
1. What brought you here today?
2. What do you hope the outcome of counseling will be?
3. Tell me about your marriage. How did you meet your spouse?
4. What attracted you to him or her?
5. Did you notice any character qualities that gave you concern?
6. Did your feelings change during the marriage? How?
7. How did your parents feel about your spouse?
8. When did you first realize there were problems?
9. How did your spouse tell you he or she wanted to end the marriage?
10. What were your feelings?
11. What did you say or do?
12. Who did you go to for help?
13. Were they helpful?
14. What was the reaction of your family? Your spouse’s family?
15. Do you have any children? How old are they?
16. How did they react when they heard?
17. How are they doing now?
18. What feelings have you gone through? Be honest.
19. Have you been able to talk about your feelings to anyone?
20. How do you express your anger?
21. Do you go to a support group?
22. What support do you have around you?
23. How are you and your children doing financially?
24. How does that make you feel?
25. What is your relationship with the Lord like?
26. Do you feel the Lord has rejected you or forgotten about you?
27. Let’s see what the Bible says about that?

A girl had watched her mother verbally abuse her father for years. When she became an adult, she asked her dad. “Why do you put up with this? Why don’t you leave her?” Her father gently replied. “The Bible says that men should love their wives as Christ loved the church. I don’t think I’ve loved your mother that much yet. Do you?”

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 3 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #63)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #63

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #63

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. It reads, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

In general, he tells them that marriage, by Christ’s command, is for life; and therefore those who are married must not think of separation. The wife must not depart from the husband, nor the husband put away his wife. This I command, says the apostle; yet not I, but the Lord. Not that he commanded any thing of his own head, or upon his own authority. Whatever he commanded was the Lord’s command, dictated by His Spirit and enjoined by His authority. But his meaning is that the Lord Himself, with His own mouth, had forbidden such separations. Note, Man and wife cannot separate at pleasure, nor dissolve, when they will, their matrimonial bonds and relation. They must not separate for any other cause than what Christ allows. And therefore the apostle advises that if any woman had been separated, either by a voluntary act of her own or by an act of her husband, she should continue unmarried, and seek reconciliation with her husband, that they might cohabit again. Note, Husbands and wives should not quarrel at all, or should be quickly reconciled. They are bound to each other for life. The divine law allows of no separation. They cannot throw off the burden, and therefore should set their shoulders to it, and endeavour to make it as light to each other as they can.

Our quote for today is from A.W. Pink. He said, “Marriage is not a mere civil thing, but is partly spiritual and Divine, and therefore God alone has the power to appoint the beginning, the continuance, and the end thereof.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 3) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

ASSESSMENT INTERVIEW
For Couples Contemplating Divorce
When a couple comes to counseling with divorce as an option, you are usually the last stop before a lawyer.

Rule Outs
Do either of you have reason to believe that you are in physical danger from the other?
Has there been any type of abuse (physical, verbal, or sexual) to either of you or your children? (If there has been physical or sexual abuse, the first step is to get the abused spouse and children away from the abuser and to a safe place. Counseling cannot begin until this takes place. After the abused person is safe, the couple can meet for counseling with the counselor and a representative of the church, such as an elder or pastor, present. It is a good idea if both genders are represented in the core counseling times.)

General Questions
What has prompted you to come to counseling at this time?
What do you hope the outcome of counseling will be?
Tell me about your marriage. How long have you been married?
Do you have any children?
How did you meet?
What first attracted you to each other?
How did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?
What was your first fight about?
When did the problems that bring you here today first arise?
What have you tried already to solve these problems?
Do you feel there is any hope for reconciliation?
So you both want a divorce? Why or why not?
What would it take for you to want to reconcile?
Do either of you think you have biblical grounds for divorce?
What are they?
Are you both believers?
How is your walk with the Lord?
Tell me about your background, your parents, and your siblings. What was growing up like for you?
Are there any divorces in your family or among your friends?
What do you think divorce will accomplish for you?
How do you think the divorce will affect your children?
Would you like to see what the Bible says about divorce?

“God does not hate divorced people–He hates the cruelty of divorce. Divorce does not eliminate problems; it just substitutes a new set of problems.” – Author Unknown

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

Divorce, Part 2 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #62)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #62

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #62

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Malachi 2:16. It reads, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The God of Israel saith that He hateth putting away. He hath indeed permitted it to the Jews, for the hardness of their hearts, or, rather, limited and clogged it; but He hated it, especially as those practised it who put away their wives for every cause. Let those wives that elope from their husbands and put themselves away, those husbands that are cruel to their wives and turn them away, or take their affections off from their wives and place them upon others, yea, and those husbands and wives that live asunder by consent, for want of love to each other, let such as these know that the God of Israel hates such practices, however vain men may make a jest of them. Let us see the caution inferred from all this. We have it twice (v. 15): Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth; and again, v. 16. Note, Those that would be kept from sin must take heed to their spirits, for there all sin begins; they must keep their hearts with all diligence, must keep a jealous eye upon them and a strict hand, and must watch against the first risings of sin there. We shall act as we are spirited; and therefore, that we may regulate our actions, we must consider what manner of spirit we are of; we must take heed to our spirits with reference to our particular relations, and see that we stand rightly affected to them and be of a good temper, for otherwise we shall be in danger of dealing treacherously. If our own hearts deal treacherously with us, whom will they not deal treacherously with?

Our quote for today is from Ruth Bell Graham. She said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 2) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Scriptural View of Divorce
Malachi 2:16 says that the Lord hates divorce. The rest of the verse reveals that Malachi was speaking to men who were disloyal to their wives. Gd’s compassion toward the injured party is clear.

Romans 12:15 says that we should “weep with those who weep.” People recovering from the trauma of a broken marriage need the church to:

— share in their sorrow
— offer compassion
— give reassurance that their church family will not reject them
— impart hope that God will somehow bring good out of this
— offer opportunities to serve in the church

Biblical Reasons for Divorce
Sexual activity outside the marital covenant breaks the marriage vow. In Matthew 19:9 Jesus said that if a spouse has committed this type of sin, the other spouse is free to divorce and remarry. This does not mean divorce is required in instances where sexual sin has been committed, but it is permitted.
Some maintain that the abandonment of a believer by a nonbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse free to divorce the deserter (see 1 Cor. 7:15).

Reasons for Separation
Physical abuse is not addressed in the Bible as a reason for divorce, but nowhere does Scripture specifically command a woman to stay in a home where she or her children are being physically abused. Separation (not divorce) is necessary for physical safety. Restoration should be predicated on true repentance and by a significant change in the abuser’s behaviour that lasts for an extended period of time. The church can serve as a protector of the abused by helping them find a safe place to stay, counseling, providing economic assistance, and using church discipline to hold the abusive spouse accountable.
Mental or verbal abuse is not a biblical reason for divorce, although in some cases, such as severe belittling and demeaning behaviour, it can be a cause for separation. Restoration should follow the pattern established for physical abuse.
Chemical addictions to drugs or alcohol that result in harmful behaviour to the spouse or children can be a reason for separation. Restoration should follow the pattern established for physical abuse.
Physical neglect, such as not providing appropriate food, clothing, shelter, or supervision for the children, or physical abuse can result in life-threatening situations. The spouse should remove the children or the addict from the home to provide a safe environment for the children. Restoration should again follow the pattern outlined for physical abuse with the church functioning in the role of a safe haven.

Consequences of Divorce
Divorce creates new problems in exchange for the old ones.
Divorce devastates children. Research shows that, for most children, the pain they feel from the breakup of their home is just as painful ten years after the divorce as it was at the time of the divorce. The pain follows them into adulthood and affects their personalities and life choices.

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.