Domestic Violence, Part 10 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #78)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #78

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #78.

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Proverbs 16:32. It reads, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

This recommends the grace of meekness to us, which will well become us all, particularly the hoary head, v. 31. Observe, 1. The nature of it. it is to be slow to anger, not easily put into a passion, nor apt to resent provocation, taking time to consider before we suffer our passion to break out, that it may not transgress due bounds, so slow in our motions towards anger that we may be quickly stopped and pacified. It is to have the rule of our own spirits, our appetites and affections, and all our inclinations, but particularly our passions, our anger, keeping that under direction and check, and the strict government of religion and right reason. We must be lords of our anger, as God is, Nah. 1:3. Aeolus sis, affectuum tuorum—Rule your passions, as Aeolus rules the winds. 2. The honour of it. He that gets and keeps the mastery of his passions is better than the mighty, better than he that by a long siege takes a city or by a long war subdues a country. Behold, a greater than Alexander or Caesar is here. The conquest of ourselves, and our own unruly passions, requires more true wisdom, and a more steady, constant, and regular management, than the obtaining of a victory over the forces of an enemy. A rational conquest is more honourable to a rational creature than a brutal one. It is a victory that does nobody any harm; no lives or treasures are sacrificed to it, but only some base lusts. It is harder, and therefore more glorious, to quash an insurrection at home than to resist an invasion from a broad; nay, such are the gains of meekness that by it we are more than conquerors.

Our quote for today is from Billy Graham. He said, “Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Domestic Violence” (part 10)


HOW TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE from Letters to Young Black Women – Letter 30 (cont.)

HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED TO KEEP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FROM EVER HAPPENING

  1. Please understand that the way God has wired you as a woman is that your satisfaction comes from satisfying your husband and your family. God did not give him to you just for him to please you. You are to please him as well. Make sure you do your part. The older women will tell you that it really doesn’t take much to please a man. If you don’t know how to please a man, you better ask somebody. But as a man, I can assure you that it doesn’t take much. If you have been married to your husband for just a little while, God will give you the ability and the instincts to know what your husband wants and needs. Don’t let the devil tempt you into thinking that you don’t know what your husband wants and needs. Do not fight these instincts, and do not act as though you don’t know what your husband wants and needs. You know! Don’t sit in your house and not meet your husband’s needs, and think that he is going to be all you need for him to be. Honey, this is a two-way street. Yes, God expects that man to be “all that” to you, but God also expects you to be “all that” to him.
  2. Understand that men are very serious about their food. Food is not just a necessity to a man, it is an event. It is something that he looks forward to. So, don’t make an issue out of his food. Don’t burn his food. Make sure his food is prepared on time, whether you do the cooking or not. Make sure it is done in a sanitary fashion, meaning, for example, that you wash your hands before you touch his food. Most men are very funny about how people prepare their food. Dear sister, you can probably eat a little something and keep on moving, but a man cherishes a good meal and takes it seriously. You can avoid a lot of trouble in your marriage by making sure this area is taken care of.
  3. If you have children, take care of your children. Do your part in raising, teaching, loving, and caring for them as their mother. There are some things that your husband will do with the children that you will not and cannot do. But he will appreciate it if you fulfill your part as their mother. Now let me emphasize something here, nothing will get a father and/or husband more upset than if he sees his children being neglected and/or mistreated by their own mother. Not being a loving, caring, and doting mother over his children will get you in a lot of trouble real fast.
  4. If you are a Christian young lady, God has commanded you to submit to your husband and God has also commanded you to obey your husband. Ephesians 5:22 states: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Titus 2:5 states: “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Now, if you want to be obedient to God, go ahead and have this kind of attitude and spirit and do this, and you can avoid a whole lot of pain and heartache in your marriage and in your family. I told my wife before we got married that we were going to do this thing called marriage “God’s way or no way,” and what I meant by that is: God is holding me accountable, and I am holding her accountable to doing it His way. And when we do it God’s way, we have peace and tranquility in our homes. When we cease to do it God’s way, we bring problems and trouble in our homes, and sad to say, even domestic violence.
  5. Finally, dear sister, take care of business in the bedroom cheerfully and willingly, and “by any means necessary.” Enough said!

Daughters and YBW, if you claim to be a Christian, act like a Christian, and go ahead and stop trying to do marriage your way, and do it God’s way and save yourself a whole lot of heartache and trouble. I hope that you will take the above suggestions in the loving spirit in which they were written.

Daughters and YBW, domestic violence is a choice. Many people choose to have drama like this in their marriages, because of simply wanting to do things their way and not God’s way. No, a man should never hit a woman, but a woman should never provoke a situation that would cause a man to hit her or to abuse her in the first place. Contrary to society, this is a two way street. But you can avoid domestic violence and the pain that comes with it, if you just do the things listed above, in your marriage. I assure you that your marriage and family will be a happy one if you do these things.

As a final note, dear sister, if you are doing God’s will and you are doing your part, but you are still in a relationship that is violent, then I strongly encourage you to run to safety as fast as you can—to a battered women’s shelter or some other organization like that, where the batterer can’t get to you. Again, here is the number to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

May God Bless You and Keep You,
Papa

P.T. (Power-Thoughts):

“I really don’t think…you are in a bargaining position with God. He is the Master. He is the Commanding Officer. It is not for you to have input. It is simply for you to accept the orders as the orders are given.” —Elisabeth Elliot

“Obedience is the road to freedom, humility the road to pleasure, unity the road to personality.” —C.S. Lewis

BIBLE GEM: “Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.” —III John 1:11

TALK TO GOD: Holy Father, I pray that You would protect me from getting into a marriage that is characterized by violence and when I get married to a good, God-fearing man, help me to love my husband and be the wife and mother You would have me to be. In Jesus’ precious Name. Amen.


In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Domestic Violence.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

LISTEN: The Problem of Adultery in Your Life, Part 6 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #17 with Daniel Whyte III)


Daniel Whyte III
Daniel Whyte III

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems. Continue reading “LISTEN: The Problem of Adultery in Your Life, Part 6 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #17 with Daniel Whyte III)”

LISTEN: The Problem of Adultery in Your Life, Part 5 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #16 with Daniel Whyte III)


Daniel Whyte III
Daniel Whyte III

We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Matthew 5:28. It reads, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Our quote for today is from Chuck Swindoll. He said, “Adultery occurs in the head long before it occurs in the bed.”

Our problem today is “The Problem of Adultery in Your Life” (part 5) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Proverbs 6:32 says, “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.”

Now, we will offer some WISE COUNSEL for the Person Who Is the UnFaithful Spouse:

– Require full disclosure of the steps leading up to the adultrous act, the details of the relationship, and any information that was kept hidden.

– There will be a “withdrawal” factor as you break off any connection with the third party.

– You will need to reengage emotionally with your spouse by spending as much time as possible with him or her.

– You will need to begin a lifestyle of accounting for all of your time to begin to rebuild trust.

– Understand that healing will take time. Developing new patterns and a commitment to learn about yourself and your spouse on a deeper level will be involved in the healing process.

– Seeking forgiveness also involves restoration and a deeper commitment to love and honor your spouse than has been previously given.

————

Daniel Whyte III has spoken in meetings across the United States and in over twenty-five foreign countries. He is the author of over forty books. He is also the president of Gospel Light Society International, a worldwide evangelistic ministry that reaches thousands with the Gospel each week, as well as president of Torch Ministries International, a Christian literature ministry which publishes a monthly magazine called The Torch Leader. He is heard by thousands each week on his radio broadcasts/podcasts, which include: The Prayer Motivator Devotional, The Prayer Motivator Minute, as well as Gospel Light Minute X, the Gospel Light Minute, the Sunday Evening Evangelistic Message, the Prophet Daniel’s Report, the Second Coming Watch Update and the Soul-Winning Motivator, among others. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Theology from Bethany Divinity College, a Bachelor’s degree in Religion from Texas Wesleyan University, a Master’s degree in Religion, a Master of Divinity degree, and a Master of Theology degree from Liberty University School of Divinity. He has been married to the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica for over twenty-seven years. God has blessed their union with seven children. Find out more at www.danielwhyte3.com. Follow Daniel Whyte III on Twitter @prophetdaniel3 or on Facebook.

LISTEN: The Problem of Adultery in Your Life, Part 4 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #15 with Daniel Whyte III)


Daniel Whyte III
Daniel Whyte III

We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Matthew 5:28. It reads, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

Our quote for today is from Augustine. He said, “Passion is the evil in adultery. If a man has no opportunity of living with another man’s wife, but if it is obvious for some reason that he would like to do so, and would do so if he could, he is no less guilty than if he was caught in the act.”

Our problem today is “The Problem of Adultery in Your Life” (part 4) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

Representative, scientific surveys indicate that extramarital relations are less prevalent than pop and pseudo-scientific accounts contend. The best estimates are that about 3-4% of currently married people have a sexual partner besides their spouse in a given year and about 15-18% of ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married.

Now, we will offer some WISE COUNSEL for the Person Who Is the Faithful Spouse:

There is a normal process of grieving that occurs when someone has been deeply wounded. (A good book to consider reading on this topic is ‘On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler.)

Shock and Denial. The “No, not me” stage is when the wounded spouse is unwilling to accept the reality of the spouse’s unfaithfulness. He or she may blatantly deny facts presented about the spouse’s activities.

Anger. The “Why me?” stage is when the person is aware of being violated and hurt and may express deep resentment and/or rage toward the unfaithful spouse.

Bargaining. In the “If I do this, you’ll do that” stage, the person wants to see changes in behavior as an avenue to avoid further pain. For example, he or she says, “If you stay, I’ll change,” rather than addressing the deeper implications of the infidelity.

Depression. The “It really happened” stage is when the person realizes the full impact of the infidelity on the marriage and mourns the loss of what the relationship once was. The wounded spouse realizes he or she will need to make a decision as to the future of the relationship.

Acceptance. The “This is what happened” stage is when the person has come to terms with all of the implications of the unfaithful spouse’s actions and is willing to move forward.

These stages can be experienced rapidly within a few hours, or across days or months, depending on the individual. It is important to evaluate the stage you are currently experiencing and receive needed advice and encouragement from a pastor, counselor, or friend to work through that stage. The stages of grieving may be experienced out of order, several at once, and you may repeat these stages many times.

Avoid immediately making any long-term decisions.It is not uncommon for you to have feelings of wanting to end the marriage because the task of rebuilding the relationship seems as though it would take too much energy.

Separation, especially if the affair has been going on for a long time, may allow both parties time and emotional space to process feelings and clarify the situation. The goal of separation is to begin to build a friendship between the you and the unfaithful spouse and to reestablish trust between you both.

It is important that the unfaithful spouse have no further contact with the third person and you should ask the unfaithful spouse to expose the details of the relationship so there is no further secrecy.

Daniel Whyte III has spoken in meetings across the United States and in over twenty-five foreign countries. He is the author of over forty books. He is also the president of Gospel Light Society International, a worldwide evangelistic ministry that reaches thousands with the Gospel each week, as well as president of Torch Ministries International, a Christian literature ministry which publishes a monthly magazine called The Torch Leader. He is heard by thousands each week on his radio broadcasts/podcasts, which include: The Prayer Motivator Devotional, The Prayer Motivator Minute, as well as Gospel Light Minute X, the Gospel Light Minute, the Sunday Evening Evangelistic Message, the Prophet Daniel’s Report, the Second Coming Watch Update and the Soul-Winning Motivator, among others. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Theology from Bethany Divinity College, a Bachelor’s degree in Religion from Texas Wesleyan University, a Master’s degree in Religion, a Master of Divinity degree, and a Master of Theology degree from Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary. He has been married to the former Meriqua Althea Dixon, of Christiana, Jamaica for over twenty-seven years. God has blessed their union with seven children. Find out more at www.danielwhyte3.com. Follow Daniel Whyte III on Twitter @prophetdaniel3 or on Facebook.