Divorce, Part 5 (God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #65)

God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems #65

Welcome to God’s Solutions for Today’s Problems podcast. This is podcast #65

My name is Daniel Whyte III, president of Ordained Chaplains USA and Life coach. We don’t have to look far to see that many people in the world are dealing with a variety of problems and are in need of solutions. No matter what problem you are facing — whether it is emotional, psychological or spiritual — Jesus Christ holds the solution that you need. As we walk together in this podcast, we will address a number of topics that exist in the world and present solutions from the Bible that will help you heal and live life more abundantly. Our aim in this podcast is: (1) to introduce you to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, the ultimate source of all healing; (2) to provide you with information that will help you to understand the problem; and (3) to help you by providing solutions to your problems.

Our passage from the Word of God today is Matthew 19:6. It reads, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Allow me to share with you some interesting points on this passage from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

The nature of the marriage contract; it is a union of persons; They twain shall be one flesh, so that they are no more twain, but one flesh. A man’s children are pieces of himself, but his wife is himself. As the conjugal union is closer than that between parents and children, so it is in a manner equivalent to that between one member and another in the natural body. As this is a reason why husbands should love their wives, so it is a reason why they should not put away their wives, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, or cut it off, but nourishes and cherishes it, and does all he can to preserve it. They two shall be one, therefore there must be but one wife, for God made but one Eve for one Adam.

From hence he infers, What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Note, (1.) Husband and wife are of God’s joining together; synezeuxen—He hath yoked them together, so the word is, and it is very significant. God Himself instituted the relation between husband and wife in the state of innocence. Marriage and the sabbath are the most ancient of divine ordinances. Though marriage be not peculiar to the church, but common to the world, yet, being stamped with a divine institution, and here ratified by our Lord Jesus, it ought to be managed after a godly sort, and sanctified by the Word of God, and prayer. A conscientious regard to God in this ordinance would have a good influence upon the duty, and consequently upon the comfort, of the relation. (2.) Husband and wife, being joined together by the ordinance of God, are not to be put asunder by any ordinance of man. Let not man put them asunder; not the husband himself, nor any one for him; not the magistrate, God never gave him authority to do it. The God of Israel hath said, that He hateth putting away. It is a general rule that man must not go about to put asunder what God hath joined together.

Our quote for today is from C. S. Lewis. He said, “When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”

The problem we are discussing today is “Divorce” (part 5) from the book, “The Guide to Biblical Counseling” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Ron Hawkins.

WISE COUNSEL
For Couples Contemplating Divorce
Share what God says about divorce. Explain that God hates divorce because of the hurt and devastation it brings to people. He still loves the people involved.

Make clear that the only biblical reasons for divorce are constant sexual sin (by one or both of the partners in violation of the marital covenant) and abandonment.

Make it clear that people are not commanded to divorce in these situations but are allowed to. Forgiveness and restoration are also an option when true repentance is embraced by the partner who has violated the marital covenant.

Empathize with the pain and hurt both spouses are going through, but share with them the new problems divorce will bring:

— financial difficulty of providing for two households
— probability of custody battles
— stress of single parenthood, with no one to help
— guilt from seeing the children’s world torn apart
— dealing with sending children back and forth between the parents
— anger
— grief
— depression
— hopelessness

For Victims of Divorce
Assure the counselee that God sees his or her troubles. It grieves Him to see the person hurt like this (Isaiah 40:27-28).

Using the Scripture under Biblical Insights, let victims of divorce know that God loves them and totally accepts them. He understands their feelings of betrayal and rejection because He was also betrayed and rejected.

Explain the importance of grieving and the time it takes.

Grieving usually takes two to five years and consists of five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A person usually goes through these stages many times in different order until healing occurs.

Validate the evil done against the victim. Emphasize that, though the person is a victim, he or she can become a survivor.

Give hope that God can bring good out of this (Romans 8:28).

Share with the person that other people may judge him or her unjustly; the victim will be tempted to feel shame because of the divorce. It is important that he or she not accept that shame. The person must put it back on the spouse who wronged him or her. Express that the person will never be truly healed and released until he or she forgives self and the spouse. As long as he or she lives with anger and resentment, the victim is not free from these feelings.

Wen couples who are contemplating divorce because they cannot get along ask if they should stay together for the sake of the children, the typical answer is, “Absolutely.”

In our next broadcast, we will continue looking at the problem of Divorce.

—–PRAYER—–

Now, if you are listening today, and you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, allow me to show you how.

First, accept the fact that you are a sinner, and that you have broken God’s law. The Bible says in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, accept the fact that there is a penalty for sin. The Bible states in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death…”

Third, accept the fact that you are on the road to hell. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 10:28: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Also, the Bible states in Revelation 21:8: “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Now this is bad news, but here’s the good news. Jesus Christ said in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Just believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and rose from the dead by the power of God for you so that you can live eternally with Him. Pray and ask Him to come into your heart today, and He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

If you have other questions about life’s problems for this podcast, please email us coach@ordainedchaplainsusa.org.

Until next time, my friend remember that God has a solution to all of your problems.

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